Well, all that I have been doing is working and sleeping. How did my life get this way? I don't know. However, it is nice to have my days filled when life is so out of whack! But it will be great to have part of Thanksgiving week off. I am excited that we will be visiting Ben in Houston for Thanksgiving since he will be working on black friday this year. I am missing him more and more as time passes.
I do not know what to think about this cold weather. So sudden! I am going to curl up tonight in my blanket and watch some great television (I hope). I love The Office and Survivor.
I leave you with words from Tom Spencer, he describes how I feel at this moment in my life.
"I have found no discernable path out of grief. With every step, the way either opens, or is obscured. There is no predictable pattern, just the randomness of the everyday mixed with a sense of being lost."
I do not know what I am supposed to be doing. I have prayed, studied, discussed, meditated, gotten furiously angry, cried my eyes out, thrown my hands up, dug in the dirt, worked til exhaustion, cried some more, researched, talked til it hurts to talk, and I still don't know what I am supposed to be doing. I need to do more! How can I help someone who refuses help? How can I protect someone when someone stands in the way? I feel helpless, I need more education, more direction, I need something! BUT WHAT!